Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
