Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
