why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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