so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.