this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.