Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.