i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
