ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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