are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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