I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm like, not good at living.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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