it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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