The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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