So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
