One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
