does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize