He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
