I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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