you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize