I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize