i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize