I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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