i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize