i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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