I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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