me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
