Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
