Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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