I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
