I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
it glows. i had to have it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
