yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
