hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
