Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
