I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits