i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.