GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?