Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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