He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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