This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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