im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
