I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize