I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize