No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
vagina is talking i cant
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I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
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Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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