i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
