Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
