Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
