I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
