Joe is yelling at the trees again.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
