But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
