sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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