i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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