do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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