So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
