My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I would ride that face into the sunset
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
