Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
In America we eat man semen.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
