Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
