how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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