How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Drunk is not a location!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
