Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
