Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
