sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?