just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night