You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize