Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone