is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.