we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
