we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor