yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.