So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??