Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
well I can't set my house on fire every night
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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