There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
