Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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